thelite88

My legs are getting restless. I want to do something else. Something new and live a life that I thought I could never live. I’m getting bored at work and bored with the personalities. They are all lame and awful. The office people are shitty to the guys in the warehouse. The company has its fair share of racial tension and there is the theory that management plays favorites.

The last few months the company 1st floor bathroom has been going through remodeling. As a result, I’ve been going to the bathroom in the warehouse. The warehouse is full of black guys and a few Hispanic guys. They have taken a liking to me. Mostly because I’m a black guy in the lab, and my job is not as psychically taxing as theirs. I can talk to my bosses and I treat those guys with some respect. Unlike some of the others who are there who usually just yell and scream at warehouse guys.

Then there is racial tension, which I think is based on upper management playing favorites. This comes from picking sides with people who are at fault. Taking the side of the white male versus the side of the black woman. I’ve only been here for nine months but I know I have to get out of here when it really starts affecting me. I keep telling myself two to three years. It’s been close to a year and so far, I’ve avoided getting fired so I have something going for me.

Plus I’m pretty well liked and I’ve been working a research project, and giving them a fuck ton of ideas. So I can avoid it for now. I’m just don’t want to get exposed as in saying “I don’t know” when I should clearly know. Those times have been few and far in between.

I went to Diana’s wedding last weekend. She looked amazing. The groom looked like shit and he was in a kilt. I don’t think they are going to make it. I think once they have the first kid, shit going to get very real for those two. I still think back to the way he first proposed to, seeing Diana before she got married. She was really thinking about how she wanted out to then going all in.

I told her that no matter what she decided, I would show up to your wedding or I would make her eggs after one long bitch fest. Damn wedding. I could have bought a Macbook with the money I spent on a suit.

The last few weeks, I’ve been talking to Krystal a lot more. We’ve even been watching Brewers games together online. No so much this last week but the last two. Other times I stay up late texting. I’m sucker and I want some intimacy. I have to wait until July or August. She encourages me more to do things like meet people and go to strip clubs. A few weeks ago I was feeling down. I felt like I was in a rut. I joked and said, “I should go to a strip club.” She replied. “You should go.” I thought about it and went. Got a few lap dances and saw some boobs. I felt slightly better. I told her about the experience and she loved it.

As weird as that last paragraph sounded, it sounded normal to me. I only wished she was there. It’s not a common relationship but I’m kind of comfortable with it. There isn’t much judgment, a full amount of accountability and honesty. Which are the things I’ve wanted for a while from a person I was dating.

Later gators

I was snowed in over the weekend. It was a Sunday morning, and I was by myself until my Mom came back home from her trip. I was going though some old pictures on my hard drive and I came across pictures I had of Jen when I last visited her. To be honest, I haven’t looked at these pictures in a long time. I had given up on hearing from her again. I still felt upset and bothered looking at these old damn photos. I was upset she never said anything to me afterwards. Perfectly content on living her life as it was. This bothered me to no end.

I reached out one last time. She responded. Her messages seemed heavy handed. It was as if she didn’t want to be burdened with answering me or even hearing from me. I told her when I was going to be online and if she wanted to talk I was going to be there. She responded back to me on a Monday afternoon, saying she would be there. I don’t get the message until the end of the work day.

I start to feel ill on the subway ride back home. I think to myself, “Don’t get online. Let her wait and bear the agony you felt. Nothing will change from this. She is awful human being with a total disregard for what you feel.”

“Let it go.”

I get home by 6:00. I still have time to back out of this. I can forget her and everything she has done and focus on how much better life is without her. Then a little voice in my own head says “Don’t be like Jen. Face up to everything. Be better than this.”

I sat in my room from a good twenty minutes staring at the yahoo messenger icon. I log on.

Then I wait, to see if she shows up. She does.

From here the conversation is her being apologetic. Jen states over and over again how unhappy she was in general. She states that she did have no disregard for me and she is sad about how things turned out between us. For every point she makes, I counter back and I counter back as hard as I can. My conviction was there. I told her plain truth as I have over a thousand times that “I only wanted her, and I never wanted anyone else.”

Her response for this was “I don’t know what to say to that. Anything I could say seems to fall a little short.” This is where I know the conversation ends and she doesn’t give a flying fuck about me anymore. All of what she says feels robotic and practiced. It would be since she had ten months to think about it.

Then I look closely at her responses to everything, she wants that old friendship back. Where I submit to her whims and her needs and she go and fucks someone else while I have a panic attack. After an hour I know this isn’t going anywhere but I hang around seeing if anything does change. Nothing does.

It’s all rehearsed. At this point she could easily be watching TV, texting her new “lover or her life” or some other dude she’s looking to fuck on the weekend. She admits that’s she tired and doesn’t want to keep doing this anymore. I relent and log off.

About a day later, I think about a call Jen gave me. It was 1:00 in the morning. She was in bad shape. She was crying and her world as she knew it was falling apart. I kept telling at the time that “It’s going to be ok. I’ll help out as much as I can.”

She sobs and says, “I just want someone to talk to. You sound so fake.”

She eventually gets checked in a hospital. Spends some time under observation and blows some dude there. Then get’s out and tells me about it.

I was 25 and didn’t know any better. I should have seen it then. She never saw me in those two moments. She clearly doesn’t see me now and probably never ever will. I log on to yahoo a day later and see a friend request from Jen. I never took her off mine. I accepted it. I know I won’t her from her. Unless she wants to feel like shit and I know she doesn’t. I know she won’t even attempt to try to salvage what’s left for fear of losing it all.

All of it feels like damning evidence that she never wanted to see me as I was or as committed to her and her stupid fucked ideas or happiness or a relationship.

Fuck her. Life is too short to give into others ideas. My life is much better without her in it.

Later gators

I'm dressed and I'm waiting to head to work. I'm not too keen on heading in today. I know what awaits me and I know what I need to do. I know how to handle it and I think I can get it done. I'm just not ready to go and deal with a routine of a day at work. Not ready to put on a personality, listen to people complain about "how much they hate working" or "How shitty their life ls". I just want a normal day.

The plus is after work, I get to beat up my body in a gym for about an hour. It's been helping me sleep much better over the last few weeks. I have to keep up this momentum. I'm starting to see my body make some progress here and there. I haven't weighed myself in months. If I buy a scale I think that may deter me from working out. I just want to feel sore, sleep well, and see my body change slightly.

Krystal (Domino) should be here next month and I can't see her. She'll be here with her roommate. I didn't know that but I'm not complaining. I just really want to see her again. It looks like we'll just have dinner for the night and she'll be back in Wisconsin the next day. It makes me feel sad, because I like her. I like talking to her. She's been calling me everyday, mostly to tell me how she's doing. I like hearing from her. I really want something positive to happen with her. I even told my sister about her. I rarely talk about who I am dating to anyone.

Next Friday, I should be home alone for about a week. I think I may order pizza and watch Netflix. It should be really sweet.

I'm only 30 and I feel so worn out on life.

I’m sitting in my room. The lights are on and one of them has burnt out. I just ate a whopper from burger king. I just got yelled at from my mom. I got home about two hours ago. I’m cold and tired. Before that I was at in my car, facing rush hour traffic and fire trucks. My destination: Burger king. I didn’t want hamburgers I just wanted to go home and rest. Yet, here I am getting a double whooper for my mother and I. I hope she’ll appreciate the time that it took to get this meal that I’m paying for. I’m tired and I just want to lie down from another day at work.

Work, I feel accomplished here. I was asked to work on multiple projects at the same time. All while being personable and turning down my own persona to a low volume. No dick jokes here. I’m a “yes sir” or “yes ma’am” guy at work. Making plain jokes and smiling at every chance I get. When all I want do is run away and scream “I hate you all and I’m thirty years old.” Work is where I stand. I stand for four hour periods. Four hours in the afternoon and another four hours more in the morning. These Asian men come in with their broken English giving me orders. I take their orders and do what they want. I’m so tired. I just got in from traffic.

The traffic that would make the most stable of drivers cringe with anger. Being as calm as possible as rude people on bicycles got in and out of the way for traffic. Oh look there, it’s another fire truck. There is one right behind it and they seem to be stopping a few yards of where I need to turn. Better get out of the way before the ambulance shows.

I make my turn to see more traffic. Happy pedestrians, hand holding couples and dog walkers. Oh look, another asshole on a bike. Who the fuck do these bikers think they are?! I want to run them over. No! Just honk. Think of the happy moment. When you were alone and mom had just left.

At home . It’s quiet. The news is on and I walked to the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal. A note from mom.

Can you get something for us for dinner? I’d really appreciate it
-Mom

I just saw her no more than 5 minutes ago. She could have just told me. Stay calm, Thomas. Think about where you were. In your bed. Asleep.

In my bed, tossing and turning. It’s 4AM. Why am I awake? Sleep. It’s 5AM. Fuck. I need just an hour more. It’s 6AM the alarm clock goes off. I wake up feeling awful. Nothing feels right.

The last few days have been a test in organization and patience. In organization, I have surprised myself in terms of money management. By Friday of this week, I will have just over a thousand dollars in my checking account. It will be a nice little moment; then it will pass after the bills are paid. Then another paycheck should keep me in the four digit bracket. This is a bit of a huge step for me. I’m used to seeing my money fly out the window. I’ve finally managed a system that keeps me in the black, at least for the time being. It only took me four months to get there.

This is an ideal place to be, especially with Christmas coming up. It’s also ideal if I plan of flying to Wisconsin.

Patience is showing in how I deal with people and situations. I am getting older and one would expect these things to happen. It’s showing more and I’m becoming more aware of it. Today was a prime example of that. I was talking to my boss about a project. There was a mistake on my part, but I quickly identified it and told him about it. He understood it and then came back to me later on and told me, this was where I may have made my mistake. I told him that I made the mistake no more than an hour ago. I just ignored it, thought about how many more months I have to be there. I nodded my head and proceeded with my work.

Work sometimes feels like a prison sentence. You work there until you pardon yourself, the parole board releases you or you serve your term and retire. I tolerate the job. I just need to get myself in a position to where, I’m no longer paycheck to paycheck. As soon as I can get an opening I’m getting out of there.

The job isn’t all that bad. They did give me gas when I was low. They even gave out Turkeys to everyone for Thanksgiving. So despite feeling like Bob Cratchit, I can’t complain too much.

I’ve been working on this job for the last two months and so far I can see some of the bullshit to deal with. It’s starts off with my boss. He’s more concerned with meeting customer deadlines than maintain the order of his own lab. Then again that’s to be sort of expected. He’s does have a MS chemistry degree but he also has his MBA. He seems to be mostly focused on the business side of things.

Elsie knows what she’s doing but she kind of complains a lot. Then again her life is pretty awful. She lives with her husband, daughter and her mother inlaw. She says she often feels like a mistress in her own marriage. She tends to spoil her kid who is nineteen and in college. She doesn’t seem to want to take a hard stance on her kid so she takes it with me instead. She doesn’t bark orders, but she’ll suggest things.

I’ve been working on a project that has a dead line. The project consist me of making 72 bathes of 200 gram samples. We also have to submit hair swatches with our samples. So I was given 72 formulas. So far I have found a few of the formulas were duplicates with different formula numbers. I told her about them, she told me to hold off on them until she got a chance to look at them.

I also seem to be getting other peoples work as well. The other work is mostly paperwork, with little or no overview on what I need to fill out. It’s been pretty awful. I’m going to give this job about two years. Then I’m getting the hell out of here. I need to be in a more organized environment and I think I can organize things on my end. It’s going to take time and a lot of work.

I’ve also been e-mailing Liz, my old boss from Zotos. I’m not looking to go back to Zotos anytime soon, but I have to keep my contacts and keep my options open. I’m thirty years old now. I can’t up and quit like I used to do. I have to create an “exit strategy” maybe even two. I may even e-mail my old boss from L’Oreal for shits and giggles.

I turned thirty last week. I had to go to work that day. I got treated to pizza for lunch. When I got home, after answering the facebook birthday messages, texts and calls; I sat down and thought about my twenties.

Four years spent in school. Two years of actual work. That means I spent about four out on my ass, broke, looking for a job. Falling in and out, then back in and out of love again. Chasing grad school day dreams and realizing how fucked my family and the world is. Then realizing I am fucked too but I’ve been lucky as fuck. Lucky Thomas gets a job. Lucky Thomas got laid. Lucky Thomas lost weight. Lucky Thomas lives in New York City and not in bumble fuck Middle America.

I keep thinking of my luck as a detriment. I have to accept it as it is. I’m not hardened or built to deal with adversity as some are. I’m just here getting a break. I’ve spent one third sitting on my ass waiting for life to happen.

The first week on the job went pretty well. I went through some ups and downs. I’ve left cosmetics to take on a job where knowledge of chemistry is essential to get the job done. The set up at the company is pretty basic. There is the hair care lab, fur lab and leather lab. In terms for hair care, we have to know our formula inside and out. We need to know what material does what and what it consists of. We also have to relay this information to a number of departments. It doesn’t matter which one; it could be production, customer care, or even the quality control lab. If they need to know, we have to explain it to them at all times.

This also means, we have a close relationship with every department. We cannot step on toes.
We have to be gentle and patient. As you can see, my room for error is pretty much non-existent. I work with two other people, and man named Chao and a woman named Elsie. Chao is from china. Studied here in the states and is my boss. He hired me and he seems to like me so far. He does like the fact that I wear safety goggles. He also likes the fact that I’m taking an interest and I’m asking questions. Elsie is second in command. She’s been in the company as long as Chao has. She was born in the Philippines and immigrated to the United States. She has seen many people come in and out of my position. She wonders why she has lasted so long. She admits to being lazy and loves to drag a conversation.

So far, they have let me know that Chao does leave the lab to go on business meetings or meet other vendors to show production lines how to make out products. If I stick with the company, I may be asked to do the same thing as well. Elsie has done this as well so it seems pretty common.

Things are pretty basic. I’m learning about dyes. I’m learning about the use of the primary intermediate and the coupling that takes place. I also got an overview of hydrogen peroxide at different levels on hair dyes, the use of ammonia in hair dyes, and which parts of the counties where ammonia levels would be useful.

As of now I’m taking a positive attitude and doing things as best as I can. I don’t hate the job. I do dread walking into the lab. Not because of the people, but because the lab has no windows. I need some kind of sunlight. It just makes the day a bit nicer.

I have been working out after work. I only worked out twice this week. The commute is an adjustment (driving in Brooklyn is a pain with so many Taxis cruising along.) and gas isn’t cheap. I should be seeing my first paycheck next week. I’m looking forward to that. I’m late on my student loans and I’d like to catch up.

I’ve been too dialed in on this job to think about my social life. However, I did have an interesting dream last night. I had this odd dream that I was chasing after Sarah throughout the city. She was wearing a pink bunny costume. She kept running and I chased after her. I caught up to her and kissed her softly. She smiled, sighed, and walked away. Then next thing you know I’m hanging out with this college professor I used to talk about politics with and playing with his large friendly dog. I don’t know what the dream was supposed to represent. It probably meant nothing.

I know it meant nothing. I’m not going to win her back. There are no plans to sweep her off her feet. The only time I ever thought about her, was when I was in the gym and I needed to run faster or lift one more rep. I don’t do the extra for her but really in spite or her. I do it In spite of all those shitty first dates via online dating. I do it in spite of Jen. My frustration that I have received via the opposite sex makes me want to build a better body and tell them to fuck off for the most part.

I am a petty man.

While I was working at Zotos, I had a conversation with Marina. Marina is my bosses’ boss. We talked the job market and the opportunities that were going to be available after my contract was up. She talked about a lab that was in Brooklyn who was a supplier to Zotos. She asked for my resume, so she could e-mail the company. It was a long shot, but it seemed worth it. Marina sent the e-mail along with a few kind words. The e-mail was sent on July 12th. As time passed, we never heard back from the company. We thought that they weren’t hiring at the time and we left it at that.

On August 14th I was about to head to the gym until the phone rang. The man on the other end of the line said he had come across my resume and the e-mail that Marina sent. They wanted to bring me in for an interview the next day. I agreed and spent most of that day getting a haircut, getting my suit ready and reviewing the company and my undergraduate research.

I showed up for the interview at 9:15. It didn’t take place until 9:30. The interview lasted about two hours. During that time, I met the director of R&D, the founder of the company, the Vice President, and a nice lady from Human Resources. We toured the lab and the building. We talked slightly about what I would be doing. We talked about benefits and a salary. They also talked about having someone there for the long haul. That was something I really wanted to hear. I need some stability in my life. I’m getting too old to fly through life by the seat of my pants.

At the end of the interview, I left with a job. I’ll be starting on August 27th. The best part is the commute is about twenty minutes from home. I have benefits again. I have a salary. It’s not much but it will be able to get my house in order. The job itself is a whole new challenge. I’ll be working on the raw material side. It’s more synthesis than I would like to deal with. It’s going to be a huge learning curve and the first month should tell me if I can hack it or not.

Horoscope readers would say the stars are aligned in my favor. Sportscasters would say the momentum has shifted my way. I just think I got lucky. I just have to be quick and alert to keep this job.

The first week without of job. It is a painful reminder of what my life used to be like. I spend my days alone reading or day dreaming. Holding conversations with myself in the hopes that the boredom I’m fighting off won’t swallow me whole. I’ve been very pro-active in my job hunt. I’ve applied to a few cosmetics labs. I’ve been in contact with my head hunters most of the week and last week.

I have one lead so far. There is a opening at L’Oreal. It’s a six month temporary position. I wanted something permanent but this could be the best that I can do for now. My resume have been submitted, and my references are being checked. I hope this does lead to an interview. It be nice to go back to L’oreal again. Mostly, I just want the independence and the ability to take Sarah out.

Speaking of her, things seem to be going pretty well. I took her out to the movies and then treated her to dinner. We went out for Indian which was her first time having Indian. She did like the place that I choose and the meal. I have no idea why this pleased me so much, but it did. We teased each other but it was all light hearted. I even learned her middle name.

We talked about why I live at home. I told her that I keep working temp jobs and I don’t have the stability to move out on my own. She understood that. She moved out when she was 18 and moved back in with her parents a few times. It was a pretty rough cycle of moving in and out for her, especially for the fact she is the oldest of ten kids.

From there we went on a chocolate run. We searched for fudge rounds. Instead we ended up with nutella and oreos. I watched her walked around the drug store. A tooth pick in her mouth from dinner. Signing along badly to a song that was playing in the store. To the common person watching, she was clumsy and a bit of a southern geek. To me, she just looked comfortable in that moment. I hugged her from behind while she looked on the shelves. I kissed her neck slightly.

I like her. I hope she sticks around.

Thursday, I’m going to meet Jes. After years of chemistry talk, TMI moments, and of course work out advice we’re going to have an awkward old school livejournal meet up. I know I’m showing her around Brooklyn. I think I plan on showing her parts of lower Manhattan as well. I hope she likes the subway, we’re going to be doing a lot of traveling.

The last forty-eight hours have been one of the most draining experiences I have had in a long time but probably. Though as draining as it was, it was one of the best experiences. It started earlier in the week. Joseph asked me if I would join his wife and a few people from work to dinner. I agreed. Mostly because, I knew I wasn’t going to see for a while after Friday.

Wednesday night, I was texting Sarah asking her hour her day was. She had a rough day, and I sort of did too. I just wanted the day to end, so I could plan for our date on Sunday. Sarah had other ideas. She knew I was going out and that I was due for a long night, but she asked me if I wanted to see a midnight showing of the new Batman movie. I jumped at the chance because I wanted to see her again. I like being around her positive attitude, her Ohio accent, and I just think she’s neat.

She told me that I was going to meet her roommate, her roommates boyfriend and some of her friends. They were going to get to see the 12:03 AM showing and we were going to see the 12:05 showing. I told her that she was crafty. She responded back by saying, “whatever do you mean?”

I woke up that Thursday, knowing that it was going to be the longest day ever. When I got to work, I didn’t mess around. I drank a small cup of coffee with a doughnut. I needed the caffeine and sugar. I told Joseph what my plans were after dinner, but I didn’t get too specific. I had to once Liz and Marine showed up to our table. I told Marine that I was going to the movies that night. She instantly knew who I was going with.

“The girl from the book store?” She said with her french accent.

“Yeah. She just invited me last night.” I smiled.

Liz asked, “So Thomas, who is this girl, how did you meet her?”

So I went on to explain how I met her and our first date. Marine took credit by saying, “I was the one that said you should go to the book store. I was your cupid. Invite me to the wedding”

“Settle down there, not even close to that point. “ I reminded her.

As I worked though the day, I let myself think of Sarah. I tried not to let myself get distracted. If anything, I think that made me want to get as much more done as possible so I wans’t seen as being lazy or a complete screw up. By the time 4 o’clock came, I was pretty much done. Liz had nothing for me. She left and wished me luck later that night.

“if you happen to get lucky, you can come in on Monday and it will be fine.” She said.

This threw me for a loop because I was in work mode. So I ended up saying “Dude. Awkward.”

As five o’clock came, Joseph asked if I was ready to go. I was and we left out. Marine wished me a god night and told me to focus on the move and not on Sarah too much.

As we got to dinner Joseph teased me a it more.

“We have to make this dinner quick. Thomas has to meet his girlfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” I said. I left like was was a ten year old defending myself for hanging out with a girl when I said this. My face fighting off the grin. As we ate. We all shared drunk stories, and bad bad dating advice. I even told the guys about how the the bible belt produces some of the best looking women in the country. The mid-west produces some of the more grounded. The west coast though while very pretty, produces women who are very materialistic.

Joseph wasn’t shocked by what I said, but was more surprised that I put that much thought into this. I tried to prove this theory more so. His wife who he meet in Tennessee, helped prove my theory. She was there at dinner as well. I may have left a bad impression on her, but I think was ok because I made my point. Joseph agreed.

As dinner ended I realized I needed to catch the train and do so in seven minutes. So I ran out the restaurant and towards the train station. As soon as I got there the train had pulled out of the station. I waited for the next train which came about twenty minutes later. Thoughts of Sarah and my current job hunt kind of played out in the back of my mind.

As I got into Manhattan I had to head in to Brooklyn and move my car then get back onto the subway and head all the way to Columbus Circle.

Got out of the station and looked around. I found her. Well I found her smile first and then the rest of her. We hugged and we made some small talk. We talked about work. We then talked about the movies and Steven Segal and Jason Stapham movies. We got over to theater where I met a few of her roommate and previous roommate. They were really nice people. They seemed to be thrown for a loop when I told them what I do for a living.

Once we got inside, I got on line for the pop corn and Sarah found the seats. We ended up sitting in the middle of this small theater. We talked for a while and she showed me photos of her former roommates wedding in her camera. I ended up telling her that I was kind of getting a hard time at work today because I was meeting up with her.

“Yeah. Marine was telling to focus on the movie. Joesph said I had to meet my girlfriend. Liz said “I hope I get lucky”. It was kind of awful.” I said with a it of a grin.

“Wait, I’m not your girlfriend. We haven’t even gotten that far yet.” Sarah replied.

“Exactly. If that’s going to happen. I need to be wooed. I like to be romanced.” I said.

“Haha. Well, it’s good to know that’s all I need to do.” She said.

Just before the movie started she told me that she was probably going to hold my hand at some point during the movie. I was a bit surprised when she did it at the start of the movie. She also hated the fact, that the arm rests in our movie couldn’t be adjusted. She wanted me close to her, and I wanted that more than I wanted to see the movie.

As the movie went on and on, we held hands. I would kiss her hand from time to time. Look back at her and see her smile. As the movie ended, we both agreed that the movie was great. We moved out of the isle.

“I want to Thank you for coming with me tonight. I know it was tough for you.” She said in soft voice.

“Thank you for inviting me. I’m really glad I got to see you tonight.” I said as I moved closer to her to hug her. Then we started kissing.
It started out with a peck. Then long and deep kisses.

When you kiss someone, you forget about the rest of the world that surrounds you. You’re caught up in this vulnerable moment where all of your other senses come to life. I remember the way her hair smelled. The way she smiled after we broke every kiss. Where our hands were placed and close our bodies were. The rest of the world saw a moment where a couple was doing some serious public display of affection. Which is gross to look at, except when you’re in the moment.

Ours came to an end when we were blocking the isle. Sarah did become aware after that and so did I. I think we also didn’t care. We left the theater, meet with Kelly and her boyfriend. The four of us walked to the subway. The station we walked to had no trains going downtown just uptown.

Sarah walked out of the subway with me. She thanked me again for coming out and gave me a small kiss before she made a run for the incoming train. I wanted to tell her that none of the other girls I’ve dated invited me to a movie. None of those girls ever held my hand for that long. None of them ever commented on my dimples.

I walked back to Columbus Circle. I was walking on air. So much so, I didn’t realize that it was close to 4 in the morning. By the time I got home(which was 4:30 in the morning) , my mom was wide awake. Getting ready for work. She asked me where I was. I told her where.
Then she asked me if I was going to work, and I said I was.

Before I went to bed, Sarah texted me. She hoped I got some sleep and thanked me for spending a night with her. I thanked her for the night again. I went to bed in my two hour nap wondering with a night with her would really be like. However, 6:30 came , I took a shower and headed to work.

Once I was there, I fielded questions about my date. I couldn’t hide the pure joy I felt from about six hours ago. I want to keep that feeling for as long as I can.